The holiday season can be busy and exciting, and also stressful and lonely. Expectations can be high, and keeping it all together with a smile on your face can feel overwhelming. Even though the holidays can be stressful, there are some steps you can take to manage holiday stress so you can enjoy the holidays more.
Why The Holidays Can Be Hard
The holidays can be a difficult time for a variety of reasons. There are often high expectations about how they should go. Financial stress can lead to worry and feelings of guilt. It may be difficult to please everyone, and you may spread yourself very thin dealing with a lot of family obligations and social pressure. Maybe you suffered a loss, such as the death of a loved one or a divorce, and you are finding it difficult to face the holidays. It can seem as though everyone is having a perfect holiday season, except you. Perhaps you are unable to spend the holidays with your family and friends. You could be struggling with a mental or physical illness as well as feelings of depression, anxiety, isolation and loneliness. No matter why the holidays are difficult for you, there are some things you can do to ease holiday stress.
1. Have Realistic Expectations
It’s easy to fall into the trap of having unrealistically high expectations during the holiday season. Trying to create the perfect experience is exhausting and unrealistic, since you can’t control others. Maybe you envision a Thanksgiving meal with pleasant conversation. You could also picture your children politely taking turns opening their Christmas presents while expressing gratitude for each and every gift. However, when your grandfather and uncle get into a heated debate, and your 4 year-old has a tantrum under the tree, you could end up taking this very hard and may feel like the holidays are ruined. When you have more realistic expectations, it is easier to manage the small imperfections without letting them negatively impact the good parts.
2. Make Plans In Advance
The holidays are a busy time. There are a lot of events to attend, and there are plenty of things that need to be done. Sometimes, everything that there is to do can seem overwhelming. Making plans in advance is a good way to manage holiday stress. Decide where you are going to spend the holidays and what events you are going to attend. Schedule a time to do your shopping, cooking, baking, gift wrapping, and other activities. The more organized you can be, the easier it is to manage things.
3. Say No
Don’t be afraid to say no. You can pick and choose what you attend and what you are willing to take on. It’s not unusual to have more than one event to attend on the same day during the holiday season. Give yourself permission to say no when you need to. If it is too stressful to try and do everything, pick and choose. If someone expects something from you that you are unwilling or unable to give, you can say no. It is important to have strong boundaries during the holiday season. When you allow yourself to say no, your yeses become very meaningful. Remember, it is impossible to please all people all of the time.
4. Honor Your Feelings
It’s easy to believe that everyone is having a good time and enjoying the holidays. This may or may not be true. Because of this assumption, you may believe you shouldn’t feel sad, depressed, anxious, or lonely. This is definitely not true. You can feel anything that you are feeling. Remind yourself that your feelings are okay and then spend some time focusing on them and allowing them to be. If you are having a hard time coping, you can reach out to others or seek professional help.
5. Practice Self-Care
Make sure to take care of yourself. With so much to do during the holiday season, self-care is often last on the list. However, self-care is one of the best things you can practice to remain healthy and sane during this hectic time. Take breaks as needed, exercise, eat healthy most of the time, but allow yourself some treats, and do things you enjoy. Caring for yourself will give you the energy and stamina you need to effectively manage holiday stress.
6. Practice Forgiveness
The holidays can be a very nostalgic time. However, it is also a time when past resentments and disappointments can arise. At times, this can feel like a heavy burden. When this happens, finding a way to make peace with the past and forgive others can help you enjoy the holiday season more. This is also a good time to forgive yourself and start the new year with a clean slate. Forgiveness is a release and does not mean that what happened is okay. This is something that you do for yourself so you can let go and move on.
7. Keep It Affordable
Set a budget for the holidays and stick to it. If you are having a difficult time financially, the holidays can be stressful. You might feel overwhelmed with everyone that you have to buy for, and the amount of money you have available to spend. Coming up with a holiday spending plan can keep you from going over budget and having regrets. If you have a large family, you could suggest pulling names for the adults so you don’t have to buy for everyone. Instead of spending a lot of money on gifts, you could get together with friends and have a potluck, make homemade gifts, or plan for a future adventure that you can pay for over time.
8. Ask For Help
If you are feeling depressed, lonely, or overwhelmed, ask for help. The holiday season can be very busy for some. If you find yourself feeling anxious and overburdened, ask others for help. Ask your family members to babysit so you can get some things done. Invite neighbors over for a baking or wrapping party. If you are feeling isolated and lonely, reaching out to others can help. Attend church or community activities. Find meaningful ways to stay connected to loved ones that are far away. If you continue to struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety that are getting worse, you could seek professional help.
9. Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude can help you keep your focus on the good things in your life and what you are thankful for. When things aren’t going well, it can be easy to get caught up in the negative. By consciously practicing gratitude, you are choosing to focus on the positives instead. You could keep a gratitude journal and write down the three things you are most thankful for each day. When you practice gratitude, it can help ease your stress and lift your mood.
10. Start New Traditions
Starting new traditions can help ease holiday stress. Old rituals that are painful or no longer relevant can be replaced with new, meaningful traditions. If your family members have outgrown some of your usual holiday traditions, don’t be afraid to start new ones. This can also be helpful if you are running short on time and feel like you are in a holiday rut. As your life circumstances change, new traditions can be implemented to add more meaning. You could start a new tradition of spending the holidays with friends if you can’t be with your family. Volunteering as a family can be a good way to spend time together, while also giving back. New traditions can give you something to look forward to over the holidays.
The holidays can be stressful, but they can be managed more effectively with some effort so you don’t end up dreading them. When things feel overwhelming, follow some of the above tips. By focusing on some of the things within your control, you can effectively manage holiday stress.
