As a parent, you want your children to be happy, healthy, and successful. You probably also want your children to be kind and compassionate and to help those less fortunate. The holiday season is a great time to teach your children about need and ways they can help others. Below are some tips for helping your children understand and experience the joy of giving.
Why Give
Giving to others makes you feel good. In fact, research has shown that giving makes you happier than receiving. Humans are social beings who are wired to connect with others. Giving helps foster feelings of connection and empathy. Helping others releases oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. These feel good hormones help boost your mood and create feelings of happiness. They also help counteract the effects of the stress hormone, cortisol. Giving freely and by choice stimulates the reward center, the mesolimbic area, of the brain. The more you give, the more you want to give. When you give to someone else, it helps improve your own emotional well-being. Since giving can be so beneficial, teaching your children about giving to others makes a lot of sense.
1. Talk About Need
Talk to your children about differences in financial situations, physical ability and emotions. It can be hard for younger children to understand the concept of money. Explaining that some people don’t make enough money to buy food or live in a home, can help them begin to grasp this concept. Discuss times when your child was sick and not able to do as much to help them understand how physical limitations could impact others. Emotional differences can be explained by discussing a time when your child was very sad or nervous and how these feelings can linger for some. When explaining these differences to your child, keep in mind their age and maturity level so you can explain it in a way they can understand.
2. Be A Good Role Model
When you practice kindness and generosity yourself, your child is more likely to practice this as well. Kids learn more by watching what you do, than by what you say. Let them witness the way that you give to others. Explain to your children who you are helping and why. If you are volunteering and it is appropriate, bring your child with you. When your children see you helping out a neighbor, or donating to your local food pantry, they begin to learn the importance and the value of giving.
3. Talk About Giving
While it is vital to practice what you preach, talking about giving is also important. If giving is a family value, you can discuss with your children why it is a value, what it means to your family, and how you give. Talk to your children about the ways you give of your time, money, and energy. Encourage your children to come up with organizations and people they would like to help. Discuss as a family the best way you can help. When your children have a greater understanding about giving and how they can be involved, it will be easier for them to practice generosity.
4. Involve Your Children
Although your children may not always be able to accompany you when you volunteer, there are a number of ways that you can involve them in the giving process. If you are making dinner for a sick neighbor, they can help you cook, or help you deliver the food. They can donate part of their allowance to a charity of their choice. When it is possible and appropriate for them to go with you when you volunteer, bring them along. If your church or school has a giving tree during the holidays, you can let your child choose a name and help you shop. Involving your child when you can, helps them experience the benefits of giving as well.
5. Volunteer As A Family
Look for opportunities to volunteer as a family. This way, even your very young children can participate. There may be volunteer opportunities at animal shelters where the younger children can help socialize the animals and you and your older children can help walk or groom them. You can make care packages for soldiers stationed overseas. Your younger children can write them letters or draw them pictures and your older children can pick out useful items to include. Volunteering together creates an opportunity to bond as a family while helping others.
6. Donate
Donate items that are no longer useful to you, but may be to others. When the seasons change, you and your children can go through your clothing and donate the clothes that are in good shape but no longer fit. Explain to your children why you are donating these items and how it might help others. Have your children go through their toys and donate the ones they no longer play with. When a child receives new clothes or toys, have them also choose some to give to others. This way they experience the joy of giving as well as receiving.
7. Spend Time With Others
Giving isn’t only about donating money. Spending time with others can be just as meaningful. Your child can visit with an elderly family member and help them complete some of their household chores. They can visit with neighbors who may be feeling lonely. If your child’s sibling is sick and not contagious, they can watch a movie with them or read them a book. Spending time with others helps children practice generosity while strengthening their connections.
8. Perform Acts Of Kindness
Performing acts of kindness is another way to practice giving. Children can perform acts of kindness in a number of ways. They can surprise a family member or friend with a sweet note or drawing. Instead of rushing through the door, they can hold it open for others. They can do one of their sibling’s chores. Something as simple as a heartfelt compliment can make someone’s day and create positive feelings for both the giver and the receiver. Acts of kindness can be performed by even very young children and is a great way to practice giving.
Teaching your children about giving will have long lasting benefits. By talking to your children, involving them in the process, and modeling generosity, your children will be able to better understand the importance of giving. When they understand the benefits of giving they will be more likely to give generously and compassionately.
When you and your spouse have different parenting styles, there may be many disagreements about how to raise your children. In fact, different parenting styles can cause major problems in your marriage and a great deal of stress for your children. If this is a problem for your family, there are some things you can do to more effectively cope with your different parenting styles.
Parenting Styles
There are four main types of parenting styles. These include authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Authoritarian parents have strict rules and punishments. They believe that children should be obedient and responsive to their demands. They tend to have a lot of rules with severe consequences. Authoritative parents, which are considered most effective, have rules that they want their children to obey. However, they are more flexible. They are also nurturing and forgiving when a rule is broken. Permissive parents make few demands on their children and are indulgent. They have low expectations of their children’s ability to have self-control and regulate their emotions. They are nurturing, communicative, lenient, and act more like a friend than a parent to their child. Uninvolved parents have low expectations, and place few demands on their children. Those with this parenting style tend to be detached from what is going on with their children.
How Different Parenting Styles Impact Families
If you and your partner have different parenting styles, your children will most likely know this and try to use it to their advantage. Conflicting parenting styles can cause confusion for children when they receive mixed messages. For example, if an authoritarian parent punishes a child for breaking the rules and their permissive parent ignores the punishment, the child can be confused. They may not know if the rule they broke is important and may not follow it in the future. Having different parenting styles can also lead to conflict with your partner. Arguments about parenting are a common problem for couples with different parenting styles. You may have difficulty having conversations about your children and how you want them to be raised. Although having different parenting styles can lead to conflicts for couples, there are some things you can do to mitigate this and instead find common ground.
Understand Your Own Parenting Style
When you are aware of your own parenting style, you can find ways to focus on the positive. That way, you can avoid some of the negative manifestations that can occur. Knowing your parenting style enables you to share with your partner your parenting expectations. You can let your partner know how you were raised and how you would like to parent your own children in a similar, or very different way. This can open up a discussion to help you consider your backgrounds and decide together how to raise your own children.
Establish Family Rules
Creating family rules, which include progressive consequences, is one of the best ways to be consistent with your children. This is true even if your parenting styles differ. When you create family rules that are in line with your values, everyone in the family understands the expectations and consequences. This way, even if the delivery is different, the rules and what happens when they are broken are clear. Since you create these rules and consequences together, you can share your views, beliefs, and styles so they can be reflected in your rules.
Support Each Other
Even if you disagree with how your partner is handling the situation, you can still support them. Present a united front and don’t allow your children to try to divide you. Don’t argue with your partner about their parenting in front of your children. If your partner has enforced a punishment that you don’t agree with, show support in front of your children and share why you disagree in private. Make sure to defer to your partner in their decision and learn the facts of what occurred when you are alone. When your children know that you will back each other up, it will be hard for them to try to pit you against each other.
Talk It Out Alone
If you disagree with your spouse, discuss it alone. Even if you want to let your spouse know you disagree immediately. Discussing it in front of your child undermines your partners authority. If your child feels that they can gain sympathy from you and avoid punishment, they will always seek you out when your spouse is trying to discipline them. This will put you in an awkward position and can cause arguments with your partner. When you talk to your spouse about your opinions and views alone, you are not put in the position of taking sides. You may not agree with your spouse, but your child doesn’t need to know this. When you discuss this in private, you can make a joint decision on the best way to handle things. This way you can reach a compromise on a new rule and consequence that works for both of you.
Practice Flexibility
Parenting styles may need to be adjusted due to your individual child’s needs, or development. If you are rigid in your views and beliefs, conflict with your child and partner are more likely to occur. The more flexible you can be with adjusting your parenting style, the easier it will be for you to effectively meet your child’s needs. Being flexible can also help you to better complement your spouse’s different parenting style. Then you can use the strengths and weaknesses related to your different parenting styles to your advantage.
Don’t Make One Parent The Bad Guy
Telling your child to wait until their father gets home, or that their mother is going to be mad at them will not help you be a more effective parent. This is true even if your spouse has an authoritative parenting style and your child behaves when you use this threat. Your child might begin to fear their other parent and only listen to you when you threaten to tell them. If you want to be able to effectively parent your child, you will need for them to listen to you and respect you. If you need your partner’s input in the situation, you can privately decide how to handle things with your spouse and then present a united front to your child.
Having different parenting styles does not have to ruin your relationship. You can use the above tips to help you manage your differences more effectively. If you are still struggling to find common ground, therapy can help. With some effort, you and your partner can parent your children effectively and have a peaceful relationship, even if your parenting styles are different.
If you have more than one child, you have probably experienced sibling rivalry. Maybe your kids pick on each other, fight, or constantly compete for your attention. Although sibling rivalry is normal, it can be difficult for parents to deal with. The constant fighting, yelling, and name calling can seem overwhelming. If you are dealing with sibling rivalry, there are things you can do to help ease the tension and maintain your sanity.
Why Siblings Fight
Fighting and arguing between children is a normal part of the family dynamic when you have more than one child. There are a number of reasons why fighting can occur between siblings. Feelings of jealousy and envy can lead to competition and arguments. Just like adults, children have their own moods, wants, desires and temperaments. If your child is overtired, they may pick a fight with their sibling simply because they are there. Your older child might take out their frustrations with others on their younger sibling. Children can fight with each other to get your attention. They can also get into fights when they’ve spent too much time together and need a break.
How Sibling Rivalry Can Be Helpful
Sibling rivalry is not all bad. In fact, there are many benefits as well. Disagreements between siblings creates an opportunity to learn negotiation skills and how to compromise with others. Sibling rivalry can help children increase their social skills and their ability to regulate their emotions. When siblings fight and argue, they can learn empathy, how to listen effectively, and assertiveness skills that can help them become successful adults. Although there are a number of benefits, it can still be difficult dealing with your children fighting. There are some things that you can do to help when your children fight.
1. Create Family Rules
Establishing family rules can help keep everyone on the same page. Family rules are most effective when they are clearly stated and there are consistent consequences when they are not followed. For example, if a family rule is that you treat each other with respect, and this is defined partly as not taking each other’s things without asking, consequences occur if it is broken. The consequence for a first offense could be returning the item and apologizing. Family rules help decrease sibling rivalry because the expectations and consequences of behaviors are clear to all family members.
2. Spend Time With Each Child
Spending time with each child individually can help strengthen your bond. When your children feel valued and connected to you individually, there is less of a need to vie for your attention by fighting. Planning fun activities for each child individually, taking one child with you when you run errands, or spending a few minutes with each child one at a time at bedtime are ways that you can focus your attention on each of your children separately. Having a designated time devoted to each of your children alone can decrease sibling fighting and strengthen your connection.
3. Empathize
Sometimes your children come to you when there is an issue with their brother or sister to have their feelings acknowledged and validated, not because they want you to fix it. It can be frustrating and upsetting for your child when their brother doesn’t let them have a turn on the game he is playing. Letting your child know that you understand their feelings and experience can be enough to defuse the situation. You could say something like, you sound mad at your brother and also sad. You wish he would give you a turn. This lets your child know that you get it, and helps them begin to name their feelings. It is important to know what you are feeling before you can begin to process your feelings. Responding empathically to your child models an important skill that they can then use with others, including their siblings.
4. Help Them Separate Their Feelings From Their Behaviors
Children often have a hard time separating their feelings from their behaviors. Your child could explain that they hit their brother because he wasn’t taking turns. Although you might empathize with their frustration, you probably aren’t very happy with their response. Kids should be taught that they may not be able to control what they are feeling, but they are always in control of how they react. Discussing acceptable ways to respond in situations when they are feeling frustrated and angry can help your child make better behavioral choices. For instance, you could help them find a way to use their words to describe their feelings, let them draw about it, or have them squeeze a stress ball. Learning different, more acceptable ways to respond to their feelings can help your children manage all of their relationships better.
5. Stay Out Of It
If your children are trying to work out their conflict, stay out of it. As soon as you enter the room, they will look to you to resolve things. While this may be necessary at times, the more you can let them figure it out themselves, the easier it will be for them to do this in other situations. You can ask your children if this is a situation they can handle themselves, or if they want you to intervene. This way, they know you trust them to handle it on their own, but you are there if they need your help. Of course, if they are hurting each other, you will probably want to separate them for awhile. Working out their differences enables them to learn valuable skills that they can use throughout their lives.
6. Have Them Take A Time-Out
If your children are having a difficult time working things out, you can have them take a time-out. You can send them each to a safe place and set a time when they can come back and try again. Let’s face it, siblings know how to push each other’s buttons. It isn’t uncommon for them to be playing nicely one minute and screaming at each other the next. When they are screaming, throwing things, and threatening each other, it will be quite difficult for them to come to an agreeable resolution. A time-out allows them some time to calm down so they can handle the situation differently when it is time for them to try again.
It is possible to reestablish peace, and maintain your sanity, when dealing with sibling rivalry. However, if you are struggling with this, or the fighting is becoming violent, counseling can help. When you are able to address the fighting that occurs between your children more effectively, your entire family will experience the benefits.
Family rules provide clear boundaries related to expected acceptable behavior. They create a safe environment for children to learn and grow. When you clearly state and consistently follow expectations and consequences, behavior problems often decrease. Establishing rules for your family is an important step towards creating the family life you want.
What Are Family Rules
Family rules are boundaries that you put in place to create structure in your family. These rules should be specific in order for them to be most effective. Family rules need to be clearly stated, have consistent consequences when they are not followed, and be age appropriate. It is helpful to discuss these rules with your children and to create a visual display. The rules can be put into three different categories of safety, expectations, and aspirations. When rules and consequences are clear, children are able to make an active choice in their behavior. The structure that you create through these rules can help your family function more effectively and peacefully.
Why Family Rules Are Needed
Rules create structure and set up expectations for appropriate behavior and functioning. Structure is very important for child development. When children have clear expectations and consequences at home, they have an easier time adjusting to rules in other settings. Family rules keep expectations clear for everyone. These guidelines help define appropriate and expected behavior, as well as undesirable behavior. Although it is normal for children to test boundaries, with consistent consequences it’s less likely to continue.
Know Your Values and Beliefs
When establishing family rules, it is important that they are in agreement with your family values and beliefs. In order to keep them consistent, it is helpful to write out these beliefs and values. For instance, if respect is a family value, write down what this means and why it is important. Younger children will have a difficult time understanding this concept unless the rules related to this value are specific. You could establish rules related to knocking before entering someone else’s room and discuss how this relates to respect. When your family rules align with your values and beliefs, they are easier to establish and follow.
Make Sure Rules Are Age Appropriate
Effective family rules consider the ages and developmental stages of your children. Young children need fewer rules as they rely on their caretakers to keep them safe. As children grow and require more freedom, more rules are also necessary. Teenagers often require the most rules as they strive to become more independent. Rules around staying in your room at bedtime are important for your preschooler, yet not really relevant for your high schooler. Family rules will be most effective when you consider the ages and developmental stages of each of your children.
Have Clear Consequences
Rules are most effective when there are clear consequences. When everyone is aware of the rules and the consequences, they are able to make an active choice. With inconsistent consequences, it is more likely that the rules will not be followed. Consequences that are either too lenient or too severe can be ineffective or difficult to enforce. The consequences should fit the situation. Such as, if you don’t eat dinner, you don’t get dessert. This is a more natural consequence that can be easier to enforce. When considering rules that involve safety, the consequences can be stricter in order to deter unwanted behavior from occurring. It is important to know your child’s values in order to establish meaningful consequences. Remember, consequences can be positive as well as negative.
Get Everyone Involved
Although safety rules may be nonnegotiable, children can and should have input into the family expectation and aspiration rules. When children are included in the creation of the rules, they are more likely to abide by them. You can learn a lot about your children by asking what rules they think are important and why. Getting their input on what consequences they believe to be most effective can also be helpful. While children shouldn’t have the final say on the family rules and consequences, their input should certainly be considered.
Renegotiate As Needed
To keep the family rules meaningful, you should renegotiate them as needed. When your children are toddlers, your expectations and their needs and abilities will be different than when they are teenagers. Therefore, the rules and consequences should be adjusted accordingly. If your family situation changes, such as an elderly relative moves in, the family rules need to be re-evaluated. The rules might also need to change when something that wasn’t a problem before becomes an ongoing issue. When an adjustment needs to be made, the entire family should still be involved in the process.
Safety Rules
Family rules can be put into three different categories. The first category is safety rules. These rules are about keeping everyone safe. The safety rules are often nonnegotiable, at least for a period of time. These rules are most effective if they are clearly stated and the consequences are rigid. This way you discourage, or encourage a particular behavior, which is the point of these rules. There should only be a few safety rules. A safety rule for first-graders might be we only cross the street when we are holding a grown-ups hand. The consequence could be losing outside playtime. For a teenager, a safety rule is, we put our phones on do not disturb when driving. The consequence could be losing the car for awhile. If the safety rule isn’t followed, the consequences occur regardless of why the rule was broken.
Expectation Rules
The next category of rules are expectations. You establish these rules according to your family values to make sure everyone is on the same page. There can be more than one rule under each family value. These rules can be stated positively to encourage the desired behavior. If a family value is respect and a rule is wait your turn to speak, a consequence occurs if they interrupt. The consequences for breaking these rules are much less severe than the consequences for breaking a safety rule. A consequence for a first offense might be a reminder or warning. If they continue to interrupt, they might have to apologize and finally, they might have to leave the room. Rewarding desired behavior is a good way to reinforce expectation rules.
Aspiration Rules
Aspiration rules are the things that you aspire to do as a family. Maybe you want to eat dinner together, but conflicting schedules make this difficult. If this is an aspiration rule, you can look at schedules and come up with a day that works for everyone. It then becomes an expection that everyone will be there on that day, or consequences will occur. Aspiration rules are flexible and often positive consequences are most effective. However, if an aspiration is put on the schedule, it then becomes an expectation and subject to negative consequences. Aspiration rules are important because they encourage activities that keep your family connected.
Family rules can help your family function effectively. If you are struggling to create and enforce family rules, counseling can help. When you establish clear rules with consistent consequences, your children, and entire family will benefit.
Having a baby is a big transition for a couple. Although it is an exciting new adventure, it can also be a very stressful time for your relationship. As you adjust to the needs and demands of your baby, you may find yourself with little time and energy to focus on each other. This change is a normal part of the transition to parenthood. However, there are some things that you can do to keep your relationship strong after having a baby.
1. Discuss Parenting Views
There is a good chance that you each have different ideas about parenting and different ways of engaging with your baby. This is normal, and can even be beneficial for your child. However, not being on the same page when it comes to important parenting matters can lead to arguments between the two of you and confusion for your baby. It is helpful to discuss some of these bigger issues before the baby is born and to revisit them when necessary. Discipline, routine, extended family, religion and education are some topics that you might want to explore. For example, if you and your spouse practice different religions, you will want to discuss your expectations for your child around religion before the baby is born. When you are aware of each other’s values around parenting, you can have meaningful discussions about how you want to raise your baby and why.
2. Spend Time As A Couple
You don’t stop being a couple when you have a baby, even though it might feel like it at times. Spending time with the baby won’t be an issue. However, spending time together as a couple could be. As hard as it might be to leave your baby, carving out couple time together will strengthen your bond. It’s best to have couple time away from the baby if at all possible. That way, you can focus on each other without worrying about being interrupted. Hire a babysitter, or ask a trusted friend or relative to watch the baby. Do something together that you both enjoyed before the baby. This will help you to connect as a couple, not just as parents, which can keep your relationship strong after having a baby.
3. Practice Self Care
While it is important to do things together as a couple, if you want to keep your relationship strong after having a baby, it is equally important to do things you each enjoy individually. You probably had individual friends, hobbies, and interests before you had a baby. Most likely you enjoyed these things because they filled you up. Although you may not have as much time to spend on these things as before the baby, devoting some time to them will keep you balanced. It is easy to get caught up in the needs of your baby. But the truth is, the more you care for yourself, the more you will have to give to your baby, and your partner. It is not selfish to practice self care. Modeling this for your child will allow them to see the benefits of taking care of yourself so they can practice this as well.
4. Discuss Finances
Having a baby can impact your finances. It is always a good idea to be aware of your financial situation and to see how prepared you are for the additional expenses that having a baby entails. Preparing ahead of time for financial changes can keep money from being an additional stressor. However, even if you are seemingly well prepared, unexpected changes that impact your finances can occur when you have a baby. Maybe one of you wants to stay home with the baby instead of returning to work. It is easier to deal with unexpected financial situations if you have a budget and are aware of your income and expenses. Finances can easily become problematic when you have a decrease in income and an increase in expenses. Being aware of this and having a plan in place, can keep financial concerns from becoming a source of contention when you have a baby.
5. Ask For Support
A baby requires a lot of care in general. If they are sick, teething, or colicky it can feel even more overwhelming. Maybe you were up all night trying to comfort the baby. As a parent, there are times when you just need a break. When you need a break, let your partner know. If it is hard for you to ask for help, come up with a code word you can use that means you need a break. When you don’t ask for help and just continue to feel overwhelmed, you could end up resenting your partner. Even if your partner is unable to give you what you need immediately, they might have suggestions that can be beneficial. Feeling supported by one another can bring you closer together.
6. Check In Daily
This might seem obvious, but sometimes opposite schedules, added responsibility, and a lack of sleep can interfere with basic communication. When you don’t communicate regularly, you can feel disconnected from each other. Setting aside time during the day to talk about what is going on and what you each need will help keep you both on the same page. This is the time to discuss your baby. Talk about how wonderful they are, how they are doing, what they need, and what you need help with during the day. Discussing your personal agendas and expectations regarding caring for your baby will help you figure out the best way to organize your time so everyone’s needs are met. Checking in with each other daily will also alert you to mood changes that can occur following the birth so they can be addressed before they become problematic. Being attuned to each other’s daily needs can enable you to support one another in meaningful ways.
7. Talk About Your Dreams
While it is necessary to discuss your day to day needs and plans, it is just as important to talk about your future. Set aside time to talk about your goals, ideas, and ambitions together. Although having a baby may alter some of these, sharing your hopes and dreams about the future is what is really beneficial. Doing this helps you stay connected in a different way. Discuss things that interest you and excite you. You should have some rules around this sharing time so you don’t end up discussing things you are talking about in your daily check-in. Since this time is about dreams, there is no right or wrong, even if you have different ideas about what the future looks like. There is no need to argue about something that may or may not happen and hasn’t happened yet, this is simply a time to exercise your imagination. Encouraging each other to share your hopes and wishes can deepen your couple intimacy and strengthen your bond.
8. Have Sex
Maintain an active sex life. Once you are cleared by the doctor to do so, resume sexual activity. As new parents, there will be plenty of reasons not to have sex. Sleep will probably be a bigger priority for awhile. It will be difficult to find uninterrupted time to focus on each other. Body changes and insecurities can make you feel less attractive and can decrease your libido. However, having sex can be beneficial to your relationship and to each of you individually. Sex can improve your mood, decrease pain, and improve your connection through the release of the bonding hormone, oxytocin. Sex can also help you feel more relaxed which can help you sleep better. When you make sex a priority, you will deepen your couple connection.
Having a baby can change your couple relationship. This change can be challenging, but it can also bring you closer together. If you find you are struggling in your relationship during this life transition, couples counseling can help. Your baby will benefit from the work you do to keep your couple relationship strong.
When your loved one is struggling with the effects of aging or an illness, they might need your help. While you may want to help, becoming their caregiver can be difficult as the nature of your relationship shifts. The demands of caregiving, while rewarding, can also be overwhelming. The difficulties of providing long term care for your loved one can sometimes result in caregiver burnout.
What Is A Caregiver?
A caregiver is someone who takes care of others. They handle the tasks that others are not able to do for themselves at this time. You probably expect that you will need to take care of young children. However, there can be times where caring for other’s that you didn’t expect can also occur. This includes caring for aging parents, or a sick or disabled family member. A a caregiver might be expected to take their family member to appointments, cook meals, and clean the house. They may also provide emotional and financial support. At times a caregiver may need to provide additional support based on the situation and needs of their loved one.
What Is Caregiver Burnout?
Caregiving can be physically demanding and emotionally draining. Caregivers that need to care for their aging or disabled family member can begin to become overwhelmed. There can be differences of opinion with other family members over what should and should not be done. A lack of control over the situation and outcome can be disheartening, especially when the family member’s condition continues to deteriorate. When a caregiver becomes physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted their ability to effectively care for their loved one is significantly decreased. Their once nurturing demeanor changes to indifference. This is known as caregiver burnout. Caregiver burnout can be very serious as there is a possibility that it could lead to neglect or abuse if it is not addressed.
Signs of caregiver burnout
When you are aware of the symptoms of caregiver stress, you can start addressing them so you don’t experience burnout. Anxiety and depression are common in caregiver stress. You might experience feelings of sadness, apathy, or constant worry, especially when your family member’s ability to function begins to significantly decline. Irritability might increase and you may experience feelings of hopelessness, or helplessness. There is less time to focus on yourself and the things that bring you joy. Your health may suffer as self-care efforts diminish. You could feel exhausted most of the time and take little satisfaction in your caregiving role. This could lead to increased irritability and impatience with the person you are caring for. If you are a caregiver to an aging, sick, or disabled family member, there are things that you can do to decrease the chances of experiencing caregiver burnout.
Practice Good Self-Care
It is very difficult to effectively care for others if you are not taking care of yourself. Becoming depleted of energy and enthusiasm related to caring for your loved one is common when self-care is neglected. Spend time with friends and family, engage in activities you enjoy, exercise, and take care of your own mental and physical health. Taking walks, practicing meditation, and focusing on your breathing can be helpful when caregiving tasks seem overwhelming. Focusing on your own well-being will recharge your batteries so you are able to meet the needs of your loved one.
Ask For Help
While it is normal to want to do everything for your loved one yourself, you will be a better caregiver if you ask for help. You can enlist the help of friends, family, and neighbors that can provide you with a much needed break. Set up a schedule where others can sit with your loved one while you practice self-care. Hire outside help to do some of the tasks that you have trouble with. Asking others for help can give you the downtime you need, which can help keep you from experiencing caregiver burnout.
Practice Acceptance
Accept the situation for what it is. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. If your loved one has a terminal illness, you might not be able to control the probable outcome. However, you can control some of the day to day activities you engage in with them. When your loved one has Alzheimer’s, you might not be able to control what they do or do not remember, but you can control how you respond to them. By accepting what you can’t change and focusing on what you can change, you can feel more empowered to deal with the reality of your loved ones situation.
Get Support
Caregiving can feel lonely and isolating. When you have a job, a family, and a loved one you need to care for, you can be stretched pretty thin. Joining a support group, looking into family leave, and taking advantage of services and support through your job, church, and community can be invaluable. Talking to friends and others that can understand, empathize, and validate your experience, can keep you from feeling so alone. Therapy can also help you manage feelings of depression and anxiety so you are less likely to experience caregiver burnout.
Caring for an aging, ill, or disabled loved one can create a number of challenges that can impact your mental and physical well-being. It is important to reach out to others and ask for the assistance you need. Taking care of yourself will give you the energy you need to care for your loved one without experiencing caregiver burnout.
